Saturday, September 30, 2006 ♥
Can I just post a blank entry? Nah. =) But my mind is blank right now.
My sister probably know wat happened.
My uncle just went to heaven today. This afternoon. Around 3 plus.
My mum called me to inform me.
I was outside shopping. Btw, bought a bag, shoes and slippers. Kinda happy if it wasn't that my uncle passed away. I just shop for wat I need, ate some ice cream, had a chat with my sisters, went MOS burger took some photos, etc.
But my heart, I know very well that I'm worried about my mum.
I called her second time, and this time she's crying very badly. I hear her cry, my heart really aches. I feel like crying in the middle of the Orchard road, but nah, I'll just wait til I reach home.
By the time I'm home, my whole family is like being stoned la. I dunno wat I can do to help. I left my sisters early to go home to do something, maybe tidy the house or something, but I realise I just couldn't do anything.
I cannot say I'm extremely sad over the death of my uncle, but my uncle was once close to me and my brother. I just felt some kind of a lost, and worried for my mum's health. And sort of frighten as well.
And right now, I just cannot seem to cry le.
I guess you really got to treasure your life. You'll nv know when you're leaving.
I hope my uncle can finally find peace in heaven.
calwen @ 6:45 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006 ♥
Had some time for an entry.
Wat can I say. Seeing how two of my friends struggling with their emotional turnover, I wanna help but I know myself I cannot help much. The more I say wouldn't probably lead to more quarrels and stuff. Heart kinda ache to see things happen like that. But it's nobody's fault seriously, it's just a process of life, things like that happen. Sigh.
My heart is aching myself. My uncle is in hospital. I not sure if most of you guys know, but then, my uncle has AIDS for very long while now, and he kena cancer recently. I think Metta knows la, I did mention somehow when I was late night chatting with her. Cannot make it le. Which makes me feel a bit frighten about life. How easily stuff like that take away. Wat if I kena something and gonna die in 3 months time that sort of thing. zzzz. My mum was crying the past two days. How life can be so short. I'm scared. No matter how much I feel like dying sometimes, I'm still scared to think that wat if I'm gonna die?
I remembr my uncle being hilarious. Though a bit perverted, aiya, uncle ma. zzz. He looks kinda scary at first sight, with his left (or was it right?) eye gone, only his the other eye working. He look like the typical gangster, but he was nv like that. He nv really do any sins in his life as well, except the fact when his wife died, he went to indo and gao nu ren, until he kena AIDS come back to Singapore. He comes to our house often, even when he has AIDS. I mean, I nv felt fear of being affected, coz I know how AIDS passed around. I study bio ma. zzz. He's strong, fighting until now. If I'm not wrong, he's fighting for 5 years le.
I think wat upsets my mum was that my auntie didn't visit him. That auntie all along nv regard her family as family one. She's just all about $$ and $$ and $$, and when my uncle was rich she will come back just for the money, and if not, the money she all keep to herself de. I'm glad that somehow, me and my brothers weren't like that. Or, I hope we wouldn't be like that in the future. I love my brothers, they treat me good and dote on me. I love my parents too, though sometimes things happen about $$ and things turn ugly. But one can never escape the fact that it's family. Some people doesn't give their family a chance to communicate, I guess I did give them a try and put myself in their shoes. That's why I still believe in my family no matter how many shits we been through.
A lot of stuff is going through in my life now. Not sure if I'd cry, but I'll hang on. After all, life is like that. I know I'm not alone. =)
calwen @ 6:20 PM
Tuesday, September 26, 2006 ♥
Waaa. Janna and Jess today pang sei me. Which is so sad case la. I really wanna go shopping today. I wanna shop for shoes and stuff. Jess change meeting up to tomorrow, Janna change to next week. Next week not comfirm though, I need to rush my project le.
Oh well. Wendy's being bored again.
calwen @ 3:31 PM
Sunday, September 24, 2006 ♥
Sigh. Singtel just sucks man. Always having connection problems with Maplestory. Both should just do something about it lo. Sigh. There goes my two times exp also. zz.
Well, since not playing game, it's been a while since I last chatted on msn. I flood almost everyone lor. zzz. Coz long time nv chat le ma. Well, holidays are ending in about 1 months time. sad. Been enjoying my holidays so far. But then, reopen sch also good lo, can see my poly friends again. Naming, Mel, PY, YW, Robin, JS, and the rest. =)
Fuck sia. I just wasted 24 bucks on a game that I not planning to play. Since i paid for the game already I need to play le. SAD. there goes my A cash!!!
Metta fly to thailand le. Today sms her, feel like crying la. Dunno le. Sad I cannot join her go. HAHA. But then, also will miss her very much. I hope she is okie there. Hope she can survive come back. Hope she comes back with a smile as well. I MISS METTA GIAN LE! Then she called at around 2pm plus, I feel like crying again. Haha. Hugs. All the best there. Have fun.
hmmm, I need to meet up with my friends as often as I can, plus, finish up my projects. Cannot make it le. Must start somehow or I gonna die soon.
Oh well. Days for me has been ups and downs and I dunno how to describe them. Right now It's just maple, work, home. I need some spicing up or my life is gonna be like that all the way lo. Planning to club somehow, just that all my kakis seem like they disappeared into thin air.
Well. post a bit of photos. XD
Just bored at work. Working alone le. T.T
NICE EFFECT RIGHT? I'm just a genius. Hahaha. My twin sister!!
K la. Nothing le. T.T
Visited XueLin at Far East today. Drop by there coz I wanna see some shoes. Wanna go shopping le. But seems like no one wanna pei me.
calwen @ 10:30 PM
Friday, September 22, 2006 ♥
It's been a long and wild day. Wild because I've been thinking alot about my relationship today. And it's happening again. Jonathan Mah's case is happening again. Except this time is with Desmond Goh.
I didn't really blog about this because I myself not sure about my own feelings. Right now I think I just wanna blog wat had happened la. Just to clarify stuff. Anyone who have any advise or anything can just shoot.
I am not sure if I like him. And I think, I didn't give myself time to think about it, and went into a relationship. He treats me well, a scropio, and he's like everything a scropio is. He calls me every morning to wake me up, he calls me every night when I go to sleep, he worries, he cares about me. But then, wat is it that I'm not happy about in the relationship? I mean, I should treasure him right?
But I notices my feelings for him aren't those like I had with my ex boyfriends. Maybe I'm just not ready.
I talked toMetta today. About him. Metta say I dun really like him. I just like how he treats me. I'm just lonely. Lonely.
"Only the lonely gets depress" keeps ringing in my head.
Lonely.
You guys know why I maple? Coz I'm lonely. Yes. I admit. I'm lonely. Everyone is busy with their stuff. Everytime they hang out, it's always with their partners. Sometimes, I just dun wanna hang out coz I really do feel extra. I rather stay at home. And play game. I'm lonely.
Wow. I didn't actually admitted it did I? It's been a while since I blog my real feelings here. Since FYPJ ended.
There. Sometimes, things I dun wanna say, coz it's some private feelings that I'm ashamed to share. But I'm sharing now.
So, I didn't know wat to do. I'm just a bit confused over my feelings now.
Yup.
So anyway, I hang out with Melvin and PeiYi yesterday at pizza hut. It was fun. The pizza was omfg. LOL. Nice. I think it's our favourite hang out outlet liao. After that we went around walking, saw one maple magazine and we ALMOST bought it. Luckily we didn't coz PY was around to stop us. LOL. Fun shopping with them. We talked about almost everything.
Then Desmond came and we watch Devil Wears Prada. Nice movie. =) He send me home after that.
Today hang out with my troop. I'm.. quite... surprised and shocked that there's so much stuff going on. I think I shouldn't say much, but I'm seriously worried about our future days. I just hope we can survive la. lol. Watched John Tucker Must Die. Hilarious. XD
Alright. Finished. Sigh. Tml will be a better day.
calwen @ 1:47 AM
Friday, September 15, 2006 ♥
Yo.
I'm back for some updates of my own life. Reading other people's blogs makes me thing that a lot of stuff happened to them. I didn't update not coz nothing interesting happen to me. But then, I'm too busy with Maple to update la. I'm sorry to all my faithful readers. I hope this entry will entertain you guys enough.
A few days ago I had a ktv session with my sisters. And I just wanna tell them I love them so much. We had fun, though thinking about the fact that I have to go to work later simply sucks. We sang quite a number of songs, and were really high. Happy belated birthday SuPing, that session was actually to celebrate her birthday. Someone 19 le oo. Everyone is growing older each day man. Time flies.
This holiday I managed to get a few breaks myself. Rest and restore. However, I do miss my poly friends. Haha. I pray they dun forget me. >.< Free come out and gather le. I know u all busy with ur gf and bf ar, but dun leave me aside also ma. =.= T.T
Driving has been smooth as well. I made improvements in my steering braking and turning. Hopefully, I'm able to pass 1st time for my TP lo.
Alright, that's all. DATE ME OUT MY FRIENDS!! Seconday, Poly, Cathay, all welcome!!
calwen @ 1:07 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006 ♥
Hi there. ^^
Been enjoying every single min of my holidays. Just wish I could sleep more and control myself from mapling so much. I'm a proud 64 Cleric. Gonna change job very soon le. Happy!
Work has been alright too. I was transferred to Scotts and life there is peaceful and quiet. One thing I dun like was that I get to know more about the people there, and become a need to commit soon le. Which is like sian. I always miss my beginnings. lol. Now even office people know me le. Die la. But on the brighter side, the shop has radio instead of playing CDs like CP, and it has no CCTV. You can sit at the counter if there's no one around. ^^ No sales yes, but I dun really care about commission. Come on lor, it's only 1% LOL. A new guy came in on Saturday, his name is Jackson. Quite a funny guy la, can click with him lor. lol.
I really wish I could go clubbing and KTV soon. But my kakis like all not free. Sigh. Hopefully they will be free soon lor. ^^
Short update, but better then nothing. I love you guys. Hugs
calwen @ 2:05 AM