Saturday, May 20, 2006 ♥
There's this would on my leg that has been there for ages. Didn't heal and it always itchy. God help me man.
Reading so many blogs make me realised that we'll never know wat lies in the future. It's kinda scary, sometimes, we fear of changes coz we dun know wat will happen when changes takes place, so we rather be the same and have the same things and lead the same life. But then, time waits for no man, soon, we'll have to experience changes, depends on how you approach it. I wonder what will I be doing in the future? Will I be doing wat I wanna do? Or will I become like my brother, to rot at home and enjoy life? I dunno. Will I able to have a boyfriend that I'm happy with? Or will I meet somemore hardships on the way? Who knows, maybe I would be back with my ex?
Come to think about it, I've been through so much, but once another relationship comes again, I not sure if I know how to handle. I'm like experienced but stupid.
I am stupid am I? I think I'm born stupid. Dunno why sometimes I cannot use my brains. But sometimes being naive is good. Dun have to worry about stuff that are not worth worrying about.
I dunno why I think a lot sometimes. Maybe because I think of you. Sometimes, thinking of u makes me laugh, happy, smile, but other times, I think of you and I feel loneliness. I miss you. Even though I just see you or watsoever, I still miss you. I wished that you will contact me when I'm bored, or have someone to contact to and crap with when I'm angry. I hardly ever admit that I'm lonely, coz I believe it's just a trick of the heart that I could overcome if I dun think about it. But then, sometimes, I just have to think, it just comes naturally. Thinking of you makes me wonder if everything I dream of is possible. I hope, but I think I'm just being naive again. I'm forever living in my own world of dreams. Even if we're together, would I be comfortable around with you? I dunno. I think I will never know.
Work was fun today. We discussed about ChuiLing's prob. No one knows wat's going on with her. But she got everyone worried. And I realised I got extra hours again. I dun care lor, tomorrow I gonna tell ChuiLing that I have something on and can only work at 7pm. Wat excuse I can give? Oh ya, I going Genting. LOL. Nah. Hmmm, I also dunno le. How!? I;m not good at lying de. Sian.
Gonna maple a while. Seeya
calwen @ 11:56 PM