Monday, May 08, 2006 ♥
D/ling an old game. Melvin intro, might as well test it out. lol. School cannot patched it, so now at home patch lor. I'm freaking tired. Not enough sleep for so long.
My mum is sweet enough to cook some mini hotdogs for me. I growing fatter le. Cannot take it sia. It's like fatter and fatter each day. My god. I think I'm under some mental pressure that made me eat so much.
K, you wanna know wat's bothering me recently? Someone I know kinda resemble
YOU. And when he resemble you it just bring back painful memories that I tot I forgotten. I mean, it's like freaking 2 years. Or 3? Somewhere there. 2 to 3 farking years and thinking how you could say "coz I dun love you anymore" and that's it. It's, farking painful. Sure I've moved on but it's still farking painful. And so many times and incident make me hard to trust anyone. Even though I like someone. It's still hard to trust. Sometimes I wish I had never been in love to know how painful it is, so that I can easily learn to love. But no. You made it so hard. And but remembering it now and still cry shows how much I love you in the past. Love? which girl doesn't want to be treasured, to be loved, true I am a bit independant but I'm still a girl after all. But it's so hard. it's farking hard to trust myself anymore.
Just by liking someone I guess is enough for me. The feeling will just fade. It always had.
Always want my fairytale you know? But deep inside me, I wished, but I also know that it will never come true.
Yup, that's been disturbing me these days. Probably coz of that
someone that resembles
YOU.
But I think I'm okie already. As long as I dun develop feelings. A friend of mine tell me it's not about controlling urself from liking someone, is to overcome the fear and barrier you have. God, I can even cry when the guy I like, like me. I mean, it means a relationship and I'm just farking scared. And trust me. I dun think anyone know this kind of feeling.
K, enough about that. Sch was okie. These days never play bball coz we're all doing work. JS was sing, but she get to K box. MY GOD. And Robin get to go MOS on Saturday. WAT IS THIS! I also want my life back! LOL. I am so deprieved of my entertainment. YaoWei cut his hair already. prefer his long hair. Ate breakfast with Melvin and PeiYi, and accompany Ekin eat lunch, but I only eat fries ar. Today time pass quite fast. Coz I was going the texture the whole freaking day. That bloody sotong texture just dun look right. And I'm super determined to get it right before the day ends. And I made it! So proud of myself le.
And oh, got a new top today. At Bods. Got discount ma, and I love that tank top! Hmmm. And today was the first time I do closing with ShiKin, and she is super funny. I kena her illness le; laugh for no freaking reason. I was just telling her, that day Kit was rolling her head againest the wall. And I demostrate to her. And we both laugh and laugh coz the sight of it is freaking funny. Shikin couldn't roll coz her arm was big, and her head bounce off the wall when her arm touches the wall. The sight is freaking funny la, I should video tape it and put it up here man!
Didn't bring my hp out today. Sorry guys! Metta and Angeline and Janna! Couldn't reply ur sms and pick up ur calls. Didn't expect people would wanna find me ma.
Except for my mum.
Gosh, if only can dun carry a hp. of coz not, my mum will yell at me. I still remember that time, I didn't have a hp for a week. And the feeling is just great. No problems, no mum to call and nag or ask stupid questions, it's just me and my life.
They were discussing about tatooing girl's eyebrows today. They say it's freaking ugly. I think it's like a monster. lol.
Wanna maple for a while. Seeya.
calwen @ 11:10 PM